"Oh, the Hot Guy will Twitter pics of his penis to college girls! (Although if someone robbed me, I'd be pissed; my high-end discounted shoe and handbag collection took a long time to put together.) The thing is, has the potential for lewd, crude, and dishonest behavior. But no one writes about them because they're so ugly. And just then, somewhere between choking on a shrimp tail and my fourteenth cosmopolitan, I spotted my former life: a Beauty and her Beast. Not because I'd never seen a beast so ugly or a beauty so beautiful (I mean come on), but because I saw their future flash right before my eyes; a future I know all too well: an ominous dinner invitation to Tio Pepe's...
I might be alone in this, but I don't think any of that is all that bad. Although the wedding did force me into thinking about my dating past and witness everyone else's choices, I found myself happily gnawing on cocktail hour, waiting for Hot to arrive. there he will decide that stalking her is a good idea but not consider it stalking.
He says he wants to be with me forever and that he loves me- I mean, could see us being like that but does he really mean it or is he just saying what he thinks I want to hear?
He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but sometimes he won’t call or text the whole day.
It makes me angry but I don’t want to be like “Why didn’t you text me?!?
” As far as what you’re asking goes, it sounds to me like “young love.” I don’t mean that to be insulting – it is a nice thing.
I had an older brother and sister 12 and 15 years my senior respectively, parents who were happy together, and my aunt and cousins lived one street over.
A Hot Guy who will blind me into forgetting that he has no job, no apartment, no bank account.
" and, "Oh the Hot Guy will have an illegitimate child with the housekeeper! Why else would they be flashing penis on their computer instead of chatting up poor, defenseless, underage coeds at a bar?
By having Pretty Me by their side, these hamburglars could get what truly matters in life, what they could never get on their own because they're so ugly -- envy from their peers, better tables at restaurants, the total myth of the faint hope of the possibility of an even more attractive next girlfriend.
But after spending most of my twenties lost in rolls of fat, suffocated by stinky ugly man farts and the resentment that often builds between the Pretty and the Ugly, I've decided that being a selfless humanitarian is just overrated.